Types of People You Should Never Marry

Considering marriage?  Certain species of human you want to avoid like leprosy because your peace of mind, your future, and your very life may be at high risk of unraveling.

I can’t possibly enlist all the configurations of crazy and instability and irresponsibility that exist.  You can know them when you see them.  But certain people exhibit clusters of traits that may not be in your best interest to pursue.  The following word pictures will exemplify what I am trying to convey:

Peter Pan.  The man or woman child who refuses to grow up.  Being stuck on perpetual childhood as in the proverbial “the best childhood lasts forever.”   Sometimes childhood translates (though it’s not necessary) into irresponsibility, capriciousness, ill decision-making, temper tantrums , or worse, being stuck on stupid.  If you are having to swap diapers for an oversized child whose idea of romance involves playing the let’s-be-babies game with no sign of let up, you need to make an easy choice and vacate their lives before the screams and soiled diapers take a chunk out of your sanity.  These individuals aren’t ready for Prime Time.  Marriage is about two responsible individuals cooperating, not about one individual having to oversee the other in an endless crib of misery.

Douche Bagstan.  Once upon a time there was this person named Douche, from the land of Bagstan who you thought was Prince George-ous  and whose kiss you believed would work wonders but he-she only managed to smear slime on your face.  Douche can be the worse piece of humanity, sometimes quite incorrigible.   Their personality and character traits are worse than merely depraved.  Douche have no regard for you.  They will worship at the altar of self-centeredness and will display an amazing and consistent pattern of insulting your intelligence, your values, and any sense of decency.  Douches are factory made for crudity and vulgarity and not giving a crap about your feelings or well being.  Douche is an expert at drilling holes into your self-esteem.

Frankenstein.  Beware of the Monster, Dr.!  He or she might be your creation.  Really.  Some people are in a relationship with a project, not a person.  You are trying to fix him/her, and/or fashion them into an image you have conjured up in your wicked or otherwise misguided imagination.  People are who they want to be.  However, why are you bent on engineering a disaster instead of seeking out a reliable, trustworthy partner for life?  If you are disordered yourself, most likely you are going to influence whoever you come into contact with in all the wrong ways.  Negativity can be contagious.  Your personal pathologies are fully transferable and it usually does not take long before your beau or Coquettish Ingenue picks up your cues and begins acting accordingly.   High five Doctor!  You are unstable and you are a genius.   The universe could not be more random than that.  It is not conducive of you to mate with your monster unless you are hell-bound to raising freaks of nature.  Please, if you are twisted and mad use your genius to fix yourself instead of running the risk of crafting a freak relationship doomed for ruin.

Dark Vader.  The heartless hate machine.  Neurotic, control freak, border line personality disorder.  Massively over reactive, violent, vengeful, lacking in sympathy.  The one-lane brain devoted to all things chaotic.  Dark Vader personality will think that they must destroy whole planets just to state their case and win the war against you.  Abandon hope.  It will be a long shot to win against such a formidable Force.  Don’t be fooled.  If you are in a relationship where your significant other is always trying to bully you or choking you into submission to their whims and fancies, you are in for the thrill hate ride of your life.  The best you will accomplish is losing a limb or the death of one or the two of you.  Better to go out on whimper than on a bang of pain and suffering.

Pin Head. AKA Hell Raiser. Good people open the gates of heaven for you, the not so good will escort you to the portals of the netherworld.  Welcome to hell!  When you get there you will not miss it because the pins will sting you.  Endless torture awaits you because your mate has zero notion of love and compassion and their rule book has horror and torture as the title.  Hell raiser will make sure hell stays as an ever present reality in your relationship and while at it will keep it hot as a bonus.  Nobody should have to suffer needlesly in a realtionship. If the suffering being perpetrated against you is willful, audacious, and purposeful, you need to make a dash away from it.

Anti-Christ.  The Christ-denier, God demolisher.  If you consider yourself a member of the elect people of God, why are you hanging out with the children of darkness?  You are merely asking for trouble.  Your name might very well end up in the 666 club, a foe of the Master.  Stay out.  Don’t go there.  Refuse any association with an unbeliever who attacks, downplays, or wants to steal you away from Christ and your confession of faith.  You think you can save him or her?  Good luck with that.  Last I knew, satan also wins converts.  You don’t want to be on the wrong side of the battle of good versus evil.

The moment of praxis is now!  Please marry right.

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