Soulmates and the romantic fictions of the West

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and  cling to his wife and the two will become one flesh.  Therefore what has joined together let no one put asunder  ” ( Matthew 19:15-16). 

“Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. (Ephesians 5:25).
Love just doesn’t happen.  You thought you fell in love at first sight with that sexy Muffin of a chap, but really , love at first sight is a physical and emotional impossibility.  You experienced a rush of lust. Don’t mistake that for love, please.  

You think your love story is charted in the stars ? Geez you probably are a card carrying believer of the Horoscope.   The horoscope isn’t astronomy.  No hard science there.  This is how spurious and ludicrous the horoscope is:  say someone is hungry and in pain right now. Of how many people is that statement going to be true ? Countless millions!  Just because hunger and pain are the common lot of humanity.  It doesn’t take the enlightenment of the Horscope to state the obvious , duh.  If you throw enough arrows at target, for sure you will hit it eventually .  

Well then if the stars haven’t predetermined my life or my love or my wallet , surely God must have .  Nope!  I don’t believe God has a purpose for your life. Not in the area of romance .  Is God the micromanaging type?  Does he have a word to you as far as your diet, your fashion, and your hobbies ?   I would worry about you to the point of questioning your sanity if you claim God is telling you what to wear and whether to wear Revlon or store brand makeup.    Indeed God has a purpose for humanity , but that purpose is bound up with Christ.  God’s purpose is to make his Son the apex of a new creation to which humanity should belong.   There’s is human will. Human freedom isn’t an illusion .  God expects you to take charge of your life , your spouse, your kids, your job. The Angels won’t swoop down to do it. Stop being lazy.  

Wanna kill me yet ? Get in line.   Now accepting applications .  Hahah.  For so long we have been fed this ridiculous ideas about love and romance that detract from our happiness rather than enhance  it.  Your love ideal, crush, soulmate, Other Half, whatever you want to call it, is whom you choose to make so.  The love of your life is not out there floating in the Great Ether , the Constellations, Fate , or other non sense. He or she is a a typical Homo sapiens wondering around just as you are and possessing more or less the same flesh and bones as you do . Nothing especial about them.   Until you discover them !   Yeah finding true love is a process of discovering that person who is compatible with you and with whom you can establish some common ground.  Once you run into this person, how are you going to make him or her the love of your life? CHOICE.  That’s it. No magic . No witchcraft.  No shaman charms.  Your conscious, determinate choice to build something meaningful together .  It is going to be a mutual agreement . Otherwise your love and appreciation and attention won’t be reciprocated.  And without reciprocation, love can’t work.   

Our popular ideas of love are utterly upside down in the ethos of the West.   The idea of romantic love starts off with the notion that love is something someone falls into , it just happens and we have no control over it.  The Bible begs to differ. It’s message is truly and irremediably countertuitive.   We are comparing the light of candles with the light of stars here.  God’s principles are timeless. God commands us to love .  Granted the condition of marriage , in whatever  cultural manifestation,  we are admonished to  display love selflessly and sacrifically.   Our culture dictates : be in love and then get married. If it doesn’t work, bail out.  But God says , because you have entered into this agreement with this person , you MUST love.  Make it work.    You chose this person to be in covenant with, tough , stick with it and love her /him.  Divorce not an option .  You chose this person , you are bound by covenant , now get on with it . Make her or him the love of your life.  Scary uh?  That’s God’s way and no one really has improved on it .  It is a superior ethic than the shams and whims of conventional thinking where love is treated as a commodity and as a product disposable once it no longer fits our fancies.  God’s way is wholesome, fostering stability and security against the streams of arbitrariness and breakups and distractions and general stupidity and immaturity and irresponsibility.  Try it God’s way.  Maybe you will have success this time.   

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One comment

  1. Imay · September 17, 2015

    Wow I couldn’t agree more! Thanks, Omar, for sharing this truth. I also lol’ed while reading your honest and fearless appeals haha. :)) I think it’s just what we need. Thanks again! 🙂

    Like

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