“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all”
Ephesians 4:3-6

SINGLE is how you were born. Get with it. Even if someone declared you married from the womb , a single person , a one, is who essentially you are. There’s not another one of you in the universe. You truly are unique. Sui generis. God is not into mass producing copies. Every life story is original. A clone or your twin though genetically identical is still a separate entity. None else is you. Don’t get me wrong. Singleness doesn’t entail weakness. It is not a lower status, virtue, or vocation. There’s influence in oneness. The many can wield great power, so does one person acting alone. God is one. Christ is one, so is the Spirit. Is there power in numbers? Never discount the power of one. Sex one time can get you pregnant. Or infect you with AIDS. One love can shatter your heart, or make it fall. One bullet is sufficient to kill. Forget the entire arsenal. The journey of a lifetime begins with a single step, but that journey might end with a one last breath. The beginning of a beautiful love story arises from giving yourself and accepting that special one in a perpetual give-and-take binary. God did it. The startup we call the universe popped into existence from the one creative divine statement :

“Let there be…….”

And so he began. One creative act. One word. One purpose. One world of humanity. One man, Adam, the progenitor of Homo sapiens. His one sin begat death. But it didn’t require an army to undo the Fall. It took one man, the perfect man to die one time to rescue us all. We could dub it “Gods greatest love story, ” as an all encompassing title for God rescuing act. The One died for the guilty many. A single act of love conceived in the mind of God, and displayed in the blood stained cross in that one day where God chose love rather than wrath.

Let’s call it a subsequent creative act of God, that his unique Son should become faiths object and love’s goal. What’s the point of falling in love with yourself? We need not to duplicate or outrank Narcissus. Faith is at its purest essence when aimed at the One. Make no mistake. God is jealous. Possessive. He is not the training wheels for other loyalties that we may want to get invested. He wants us for himself or not at all. Zero tolerance for compromise. Let’s we forget, the Shema is about the one God who knows no equals:

” Hear oh Israel The Lord our God he is one, you will have no other gods beside me” ( Deuteronomy 6:4).

Reality doesn’t sink in yet? Try sharing your spouse with the next best man. The thought stings uh?! So what’s the fuss about calling the Christian faith narrow and exclusive? Many things have to be narrow and exclusive. The Boys Scout, Navy Seals and the NFL are. Water boils at 100 F , 4+4=8 ; and so on. We risk losing our sanity and very humanity when allowing maximum flexibility and inclusivity at the level where little or none is warranted. One man for one woman for life. That’s narrow and exclusive . But it’s the best system for avoiding heart ache, chaos, and disappointment . The purveyors of free love have yet to explain why their stance creates many victims and unmitigated STDS.

Faith has no sanctuary in a heart divided. Faith is for the One. That’s how it was meant to be. It’s the blueprint for discovering life’s exciting opportunities and possibilities. The alternative is a life fragmented. Why, because our commitments are. Because we can’t commit to just One! And so we remain a scattered identity. A self so untrue. A good work of God aborted and frustrated. Life without God is un- life, descent, un -creation. To be truly human is to plunge into faiths trajectory, to intercept the love and purpose of Jesus Christ and make it our own. He won’t allow alternative routes. There is only one way. He is it. He is the One.

“I’m the way the truth and the life no one comes through the Father except through me” ( John 14:6).


Does love hurt?

Taylor Swift during tour. "You belong with Me"

Taylor Swift during tour. “You belong with Me”

“The only love worth being in is the love worth singing about.”

Taylor Swift

There you have it. Love as a song. Forget serious, intelligent discussion on the subject.  Swift shows us how to put love onto lyrics and pocket millions in the process.  Wanna bring up love for deep psychological and philosophical analysis, good luck finding a sold out audience.  The lofty theme of love more often than not doesn’t sail beyond the music of famous rocks stars.  We like to keep it that way.  We want our love to be spontaneous and unreflective, a thing one falls into.

But as Swift succinctly put it, “things that fall break, so I rather be in love. ” Good enough. However, I want to observe that gravity doesn’t have the same effect on Humpty Dumpty, that it does on love.  Falling in love hurts, not due to love’s inherent nature, but because being in love is perilous when embodied in a finite, fallen human will.  Danger lurks when we cling to others. The risk of rejection and betrayal are all too well documented in everything from tabloids, novels, and real life.  Like every good thing in life, love can be corrupted and corrupting.  There is love to get my way, love in order to receive sex, money, and promotions.  Love hurts because unscrupulous human beings turn it into a tool for manipulation.  As a means to an insidious end, love leaves myriad victims in its wake. Love of this nature carries terrifying prospects.

Fatalism isn’t the prerogative of love, mind you.  In its true essence, love doesn’t hurt.   If we subscribe to a God of perfection, beauty, and of truth, it follows that his gifts are also beautiful, true, and perfect.  And so it goes that God’s dissertation on love has not a trace of malice.

Love is patent, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”   I Corinthians 13:4-8. ( All quotations are from the NIV version of the Bible).

Looking at it from a proper frame of reference, rejection hurts, betrayal hurts, abandonment hurts, so does manipulation and self-centered convenience.  It is unfortunate that we find eagerness to recruit love as a tool for malignant conspiracies against those we are supposed to love, whether be parents, friends, children, or spouses.  Love is anti deconstruction.  Love at its most fundamental nature, grants life, not death:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”  John 3:16.

God is love. Poets and philosophers and psychologist have yet to improve on the bounty of its beauty and goodness.  Sure enough, love poems and the songs are more than competent in soliciting tears and laughter, but only God’s love, his AGAPE love, endows us with life.  God’s love has a human face to it.  It is called Jesus Christ.  Jesus represents the embodiment of love.  Love is a person, not a thing.  When we are possessed of him, we are empowered to be as he is, self-sacrificial, generous, accepting, forgiving. We mortals can not quite become prodigious  lovers until God’s love envelops us.   Absent his grace towards us, we will hurt, and we will device ways to use love as an instrument of pain.

The only kind of love worth being in is the love of God.  His love should enhance,rather than subtract from our singing. Absent God’s grace, all our songs lyrics will spin cynisism and pesimism on demand, and make more singers famous.  Love in this instance, wont let up on hurting us. Being in love is better than falling into it, but that being in love has gotta be the right kind of love, the enduring, sacrificial, and unconditional love that is able to put us, in the lyrics of Humpty Dumpty, back together again.

A little bit about me

Taking a rest after nailing shingles on a storage shed. Summer 2014

Taking a rest after nailing shingles on a storage shed. Summer 2014

Greetings to my readers

My name is Omar, and I’m here to speak for singles of all types, whether first time single, single due to divorce, abandonment, seclusion, separation, mental instability or alien abduction.

This is a blog about issues relevant to singleness: relationships, love, marriage, friendship and the like; from the perspective of the Christian faith. I want to articulate what it means to be single and a follower of the Way, that is, the way of that troublemaker, intemperate rebel Jesus Christ who still intrigues me and challenges me at the very core of my existence. I’m a pilgrim of the Way, warts and all. It is a struggle living in the tension between faith and doubt. My aims, however, are pointed at faith, in spite of the ambiguities and struggles of living in the daily grind. Perfection is elusive. It will always remain so. In the meanwhile, I am merely contented to be able to eat chocolate, be a father to three beautiful school-aged children, and reflect on the significance of being a citizen of this speck of blue dust called Home.

Regarding the title, single with gusto. Don’t lash out and believe singleness is the best possible condition that we can possess as if the single life should claim the monopoly of all possible happiness. On the flip side, you should never regard singleness as pure raw material, incomplete, half-baked, not quite yet there. This is not the place to extol the virtues of living alone, but merely reflections on what the single life is for all it’s worth and delight. Hence ” with gusto.” If you feel singleness is incapacitation and grounds for helplessness, bitterness, anger, hatred, hopelessness, overeating or pulling your hair, then I suggest you look up the Yellow Pages for help on how to resolve emotional maladies and personality dysfunctions. Better yet, get saved.

I speak for those who want to make the single life a worthwhile experience, intending to stir you into excitement while it lasts. If you aren’t inclined to believe the fictions and fantasies of the Davinci Code, you will realize that Jesus Christ was a superb, accomplished single man who delighted in being God’s man for his time.

Some of my beliefs

  • Jesus Christ.  If God ever walked the Earth in the flesh, Christ was it.
  • The single life.  Our default position. How we all start life.
  • Love.  God’s best invention against hatred and selfishness.
  • Marriage.  A contract of convenience.
  • Divorce. Sometimes a necessary evil.  A form of legal theft.
  • Sex.  No thank you.   Mainly for procreation.  Whatever creative enterprise one uses in the service of sex lies outside the parameters of biological function and God’s blueprint
  • Gay marriage.  An oxymoron.
  • Homosexuality.  A denial of the male plus female polarity and hence a contradiction of God’s male-plus-female binary design
  • Abortion.  Not so much a woman’s privacy issue than a tool for population control
  • War.  Nations don’t cause wars.  Politicians do
  • Governments.  “Governments and diapers need frequent replacement, usually for the same reason” (Nietzche).  Another necessary evil to prevent anarchy, something that God will never endorse in his good world.
  • Science.  “The more I study science the more I believe in God” (Albert Einstein).
  • Education.  The point of it is to change oneself and the world for the better.
  • Democrats and Republicans. Basically the same Devil only with different names.  The right wing and the left wing belong to the same bird (author of the quote unknown)
  • The economy.  We are it.  But our problems regarding wealth and inequality are bound up with greed, selfishness, ignorance, and laziness.  (Karl Marx)
  • My true heroes.  Those who prevent war and create the conditions for peace.
  • The human condition. Sufficiently depraved to warrant social controls, yet somewhat awesome.
  • Relationships and romance.  At this point looking well beyond skin deep aesthetics and more on those inner qualities that nurture permanence and stability.  My ideal would be one in which I don’t have to lose my sleep, sanity, dignity, religion, wallet, or my hair and can stare at each other without saying a word.  A woman who belongs to Jesus Christ and has the maturity level where she would not be inclined to spark World War 4 over fuss and trivia.
  • Me.  In development.  Pretty well alive and awesome last time I checked.


Should you have questions, comments,  outbursts or merely want to rant and rave and/or issue personal abuse, please be clear, concise, and to the point. I will respond to you at my convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Cordially yours